enough's enough ... erg

i try so hard not to be frustrated by everything around me. well not everything. just when i'm in certain situations.

it just seems to me that she knows she's in a position she doesn't deserve. she knows everyone is looking for her to fail. so even when we go to her for help because we think she understands what we're fighting for, she defends herself. no one can see her weak. no one can see her not have an answer to every question.

i used to be like that. and sometimes i still am. maybe that's why it's so frustrating for me to deal with her. because somewhere along the way, someone pointed out that fault in me or i realized it on my own, i dunno. and i guess maybe i just wonder why, if she's older, and more experienced, why can't she understand that she needs to grow up. accept her faults. and know that she doesn't need to have an answer for everything.

shouldn't be so frustrated, especially on my day off. but i just don't understand how they expect us to do more with less. and you know what? i will even include myself into that category. i am less. sure i went to school to be a producer, and i think that i've done a darn good job for the simple fact that i graduated last semester. but if you want to start a new newscast with a completely different format and you don't want to devote a whole lot of money to it ... then bring someone to the table who can offer you more for less.

i don't know. i am what i am. and i am a person who doesn't enjoy being in a situation where i am expected to do something i don't know how to do ... and do it better than people who do know how to do it. after this past week, i'm tempted to tell them to take this job and give it to someone who can help them more. i will go to a position that better suits me ... one that i can learn things the right way rather than making up what is more than likely a wrong way of doing things.

but i am also a person who doesn't like to give up. yeah we got hashmarks. sure, hollywood is no longer coming. but i just can't stand the thought of leaving everything behind ... without accomplishing anything. give me a few numbers ... not just 2 points the entire month. please!!!