Three a.m. Revelations

I don't know what's going to happen. And it literally keeps me up at night ... and tonight's no exception. But it isn't every night.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to be out of the loop on things that are happening later this week. Not because I don't want to be left out really, but more because I just want to know.

So the thought of me having no idea whatsoever of what will happen truly terrifies me.

So as of today, I'm putting myself in his hands. I don't know what will come of it ... and I'm definitely willing to do my part. But I'm putting down my guard.

Because seriously, what's the point?

So what if I've gained weight? Do something about it. So what if I don't like my job? Do something about it. So what if I don't want to live here anymore? Do something about it.

That's what he's telling me. That's what he's always been telling me, I just haven't listened to him.

Why should I be wasting away my life wondering what could be ... dreaming of what may one day come. Make it happen Jennie. He will be there to support you, just like he always has. And if you fail at what you thought was meant to be, then obviously you were wrong ... and just do something else.

I just don't want to spend another day in this comfortable life I've established for myself. The only thing I have to fear is the regret I may one day have because I didn't live my life to the fullest.

Don't be afraid any longer, he says.

I won't.